Sunday Brunch
Back to the "grind"...
Hey Luvvies,
Sweety, luvvie and darling were ways in which I was addressed way back when. When I was studying at the London College of Fashion and one of my colleagues at the PR agency I worked for, Malcolm, explained: ‘People do this because they either don’t know you, and are worried you might be someone important and they are supposed to know you. Or they have met you before, and they just couldn’t be bothered to remember your name, because you are nobody important, but they don’t want to offend you.’ I looked at him bright eyed and innocent, utterly stunned, and then we both burst out laughing.
I didn’t know these subtleties yet, and with my Dutch bluntness, I easily earned the nickname “the truckdriver from Holland”, which may also have had something to do with me smoking rollups and drinking whiskey. Of which Malcolm informed me that it “wasn’t very ladylike”. I still roll tobacco on occasion, but it has been a long time since anyone has called me darling. I always think of the way Audrey Hepburn says it in Breakfast at Tiffany’s…
Daaahhhllling.
This week’s essay, the first after a very long absence, is about fashion, and how fashion and I are not as intimately connected as we once were (yes, I still wear underwear, and I am very picky in this department, especially when it comes to underpants, so in that sense we are still very close).
I bounced back and forth between the Netherlands and Transylvania, because NL is where sooooo many people I hold dear are, and because Transylvania is where I saw an opportunity to be near virtually untouched nature. The idea was to set up a small, sustainable fashion label that I called AER LIBER. I even had won the European award for Social Entrepreneurship in Fashion for it. It would be a celebration of recycling second hand and overstock stuff mixed with handmade natural materials and local traditions. Punk Folklore.
I was also going to do a PhD at the University of Sibiu, exploring the second hand industry (and waste streams) in post-communist Romania. I bought the house in Valea, because I wanted to set up an off-grid atelier there (powered by the sun and the water from little Katerina, the stream that runs past my house). Flower printing, we would do with the wildflowers King Charles loves so much. For natural dies I also had bags full of seeds to sow in the garden.
None of that ever came to fruition. I am not sure if it ever will. Life took a very different turn (which I will gradually explore in following brunches – I need time to process) and led me down a very challenging path. It ended up in a dark place. It is one of those moments in life where I re-prioritize. I have to not only rethink my relationship with fashion, but also with Romania and with my professional pursuits.
Last Thursday I went the Shurgard storage facility in Amsterdam with my cousin and best friend. Here we sorted, packed and labelled the last donation of Intersport, who for 4 seasons generously provided us with their sample collection. Soon it will be picked up and shipped to Romania, where it will be shared between the Red Cross in Sibiu and Laleaua, the kinder garden and after school program that I was involved with since 2008. For four seasons I have been happy to have the opportunity to gift things to people, whose budgetary priorities lie with paying the bills and getting food on the table, not buying fashion. It also means that for a little while longer I will be in my outdoorsy attire…
I did something weird and wrote some stuff in Dutch too this time. I have not added translations (yet), so apologies to the English speaking folk out there.
After many weeks of retreat, I consider it a good sign I am picking up on things that are buzzing about in the world. So…
FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
The Age Of Narcissism
I normally rarely watch the news, but my parents do daily. After dinner we sat down and for the NOS evening news. I was struck by a short news item on the increase in negative and hurtful comments posted on social media. A Dutch influencer expressed feelings of vulnerability: it did hurt and it made him insecure at times. Then a wannabe influencer, one of those superfluous individuals with no original point of view, explained with a stone-cold face how posting negative comments on a famous person’s feed is a strategy to draw in more followers to his own account. Sad, so sad. If anyone deserves to be slapped in the face with a dead fish this week, it is him. That said, slapping is not the right response. It is probably better to do what Alok does, and say: ‘I am sorry you don’t feel loved enough. Not by others and not by yourself. I hope one day you will.’ (paraphrasing for now – I will talk more about them another time).
https://www.ijisrt.com/assets/upload/files/IJISRT24APR2233.pdf
https://hbr.org/2024/08/research-what-happens-when-influencers-turn-off-comments
https://phys.org/news/2024-06-celebrities-persuasivelikable-social-media-comments.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Culture_of_Narcissism
Change Your Life, Change Your Career
I will address this from my personal perspective more in-depth next week, as at 47 I am mid-career (and middle aged), if there is a career to speak of which I don’t really. I don’t want a radical change in the sense that I would be ditching writing (never!). I do want to explore and add to it. Don’t worry, I am not going to start a fast-food chain, although the Huffington approach does appeal. I added that last one for fun.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/04/quit-your-job/471501/
https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2022/05/midlife-crisis-job-change-happiness/639432/
For Entertainment Purposes Only
Most of the media content I consume steadily revolves around three topics: food, travel and home improvement. On Netflix, please watch Chef’s Table (again and again) and Somebody Feed Phil. I have a new favourite on HGTV, but I can’t remember the name. It is about people moving back to where they are originally from. They buy a total dump there, which is then magically transformed into a glorious home, with the help of course by a team of nifty experts. Travel wise I have absolutely no inspiration lately, so tips and suggestions are welcome!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4295140/
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7752034/
https://www.instagram.com/hgtv/
Have good one!
(and it feels good to be “back)
Love Lee x
Hi Darling! xxx