Sunday Brunch
As Random As The Weather
What is that woman doing lying on the ground in the parking lot?
Hello Lovelies,
I thought of skipping writing altogether this week. Just feed you photos of autumn leaves and share recipes of comfort food. Anyone in the mood for some cinnamonny Dutch apple pie?* Maybe throw in a few links to feel good movies. I feel like I need a Meg Ryan revival. When the world is in utter shambles, and life is too, it is hard to look for silver linings. Hiding under a duvet, eating cheesy risottos and rewatching the Girlmore Girls (all seasons) becomes very tempting.
But I have to put my big girl pants on. First and foremost, to walk the dogs, three times a day. Also, to air out myself, and the big girl jogging pants I refuse to take off. When depressed I have the nasty habit of only wanting to wear clothes that are at least as comfortable as PJs. Can anyone please design an ankle length winter dress for me to hibernate in? Something slightly more practical than, but just as much fun as this:
HOMELY
The transition from Transylvania to the Dutch suburbs is challenging. I have become way too feral for this. I need to make our way back to some wilderness, soon.
I am homesick to a place that doesn’t exist yet. Is there a word for it, somewhere, in any language? It is a mix of my fondest memories and highest hopes. It feels far from where I am. Just keep moving, a friend said after I left Zalanpatak. Just keep moving…
HAVE WHEELS WILL TRAVEL
I will have to sort out a new set of wheels first though… This week I said goodbye to car. My first ever car. I got my driver’s license late in life. I had simply never needed one before. Until I moved to the middle of nowhere and mobility and independence became a necessity. Car was on the road for only 268.239 kilometres. Had she been taken care of a bit better before I got her, she could have lasted many more. Journal: Little Dilo, crazy car, you will be missed! I really loved you.
(To add insult to injury I didn’t get a penny for her but did have to pay 150 euros for an international clearance form. (S)Crap!)
FLASHBACK
In Snippet I regurgitated the opening poem from the memoir I wrote in 2015 about living with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Revisiting hospital scenes and other weirdness, I want to say that it seems like a lifetime ago. It does not. Reading the poem I wonder how much of that still rings true to me now. Ahum… Dunno.
As I don’t want this newsletter to turn into “weekly tales of woe is me” I am putting that stuff elsewhere from now on. I am writing another memoir with the working title “NO Dogs NO Gipsies: Life in a Village Fit For a King”. No, it is not a fairytale, but it is pretty Grimm.
I submitted my first draft in various places, and while doing so, I came upon strict instructions to only submit original work and not use AI. I have not seen this stipulated like this before. I thought it went without saying…
I am a long way away from writing anything Booker Prize worthy, but I like what they had to say on AI.
AT WORK
On the job-hunting front: I am currently trying to figure out what LinkedIn could do here. I have the green #opentowork banner switched on. This has been topic of hot debate, whether this makes you look too eager, or maybe even desperate.
Luckily Courtney Summer Myers came along and turned it all on its head with a pink banner that said: DESPERATE. It gained her a following of 350.000+. That made me giggle.
IT IS BAD
For Safe It For Therapy I did start to work on a feature covering Teal Swan. She is the subject of a lot of online content in articles, videos, and podcasts. I need more time to develop my perspective on it. I have put her under the working title “The Age of False Helpers”.
Wandering through the woods on mental health day this week, my own slightly dishevelled mind went to all the bad… Bad Medicine I found this week in the TV series DOPESICK on the bad pharma and how subscription drugs are destroying lives. This one is about OxyContin, but then there is Fentanyl too…
(recommended reading here: Gabor Mate “In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts”)
Looking back, the pills I was popping from the moment cancer came along, oofff. I was wandering around in the dreamless haze of diazepam, zopiclon, tramadol and god knows what else (my GP had to prescribe me all chemical organ and soul destroying drugs first, before he would be allowed to give me a prescription for medical marijuana… oh the ironies of Dutch law). I kept them all in a cookie tin, stuffed to the brim.
After my first weekend away post surgery, I walked home from the bus stop. I saw a giraffe eating leaves from my neighbour’s tree. I closed my eyes and counted til 5. When I opened my eyes again the giraffe was still there, happily munching away. I put down my overnight back, rubbed my eyes and stared. The giraffe refused to disappear. I was a little scared to keep walking but I did. When I turned around the bend in the road I saw: the circus had come to the village.
I had not lost my mind. The giraffe was real. This dear creature became a symbol for my sanity. Home I put the contents of the cookie tin in a plastic bag and dropped it off at my GP’s the next day to safely dispose of. Bye bye big pharma.
We are constantly encouraged to mindlessly consume things that are bad for us. I don’t mean drugs, but other stuff. How do we stay well when surrounded by bad food, bad education, bad information? Along the lines of the documentary series of The Men Who Made Us Fat / The Men Whop Made Us Thin… I figured isn’t this the same…? Have we not evolved since bread and games, and it is now just been replaced by Netflix and KFC? Uncomfortably numb…
Then there are BAD HABITS. To fix a few of my own I ditched Tinder, Instagram and Facebook messenger. I no longer have any of the apps on my phone. I was using aimless scrolling as self soothing. Substack and LinkedIn are the last digital spaces where I am active now, which I only access from my laptop.
Time saved I will spend staring into blank space. That is, if I am able to find some…
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
I have pets. I want to get certified in Psycho Social Basic Knowledge. I want to get a part time job as a home carer. What do these 3 things have in common (I did say random as the weather, but let’s not push it hey…)?
Aggressive marketing. Not purple cow makes me smile marketing like the LinkedIn desperate banner. No, truly obnoxious, almost impossible to get rid of in your face marketing. Should I be scared of how prevailing and persistent this is?
I order food from Zooplus, which I always do in Romania. I have been a very content customer for years. After 1 order in NL I am looking for another supplier of Wolf of The Wilderness, my beasties favourite tinned grub. I am receiving multiple emails daily, plus non stop poppy uppy announcements on the app. LEAVE ME ALONE.
I downloaded a brochure for the PSbK certificate from something called ConAmore in Amsterdam. They have not only emailed me every other day since then, they have also called me. I am feeling slightly stalked. I had fully intended to sign up for their 6 months course starting in March, but am now considering going elsewhere. LEAVE ME ALONE.
The third and last one is Gea. It is a mediation agency that acts between clients and home carers. I took a quick look at their registration form. I was not sure if it was the right fit for me. The daily emails I have received since then have confirmed that it is not. LEAVE ME ALONE.
It probably reveals some boundary issues at my end that I perceive this as a tad too invasive, but come one. Does this mean that every time I order something or look for information I have to immediately opt out, unsubscribe or lock you behind my spam filter (Teal Swan by the way keeps sneaking past all of those).
Our Granny Jo in a Rhonna Design polaroid frame to UPLIFT AND INSPIRE!
To round up this rather random edition of Sunday Brunch I would like to share Granny Jo’s wisdom and infinite optimism on why she read cookbooks in the middle of the WOII hunger winter in Amsterdam: “Because I knew better times would come.”
After which she birthed many more children for whom she cooked world class dishes.
I also wish to announce that I have been cutting my own hair for two decades now. So that is what I will be doing the rest of the day…
Have A Good One! (and yes, that is a direct order…)
Love Lee xxl
Dutch apple pie and Oma Jo...inextricably linked...